For Parents of University Students

We encourage parents to seek appropriate University services when they are concerned about the academic, emotional and social well being of their students. In this section we will offer information to help parents better understand problems of their students, how to respond with concern and knowledge and how to access the services of the Student Counseling Service (SCS).

For parents of college students the departure of a son or daughter for college, particularly the first child or the last, can be a time of major change in the life of a family. You are likely to experience a mix of positive and negative feelings. Pride as well as loss. Hope as well as concern for the uncertainty ahead. Satisfaction in the maturation of your daughter or son as well as wishing s/he could stay at home just a little longer. Going off to college represents a major shift in your relationship with your son or daughter. As parents it is important to be sensitive to the emotions and changes that this transition has in your own lives. And for most students, parents continue to play an important role in their lives. Included here is information that we hope will assist you in helping your daughter or son move through the personal, developmental and psychological challenges that may arise during their time at the University of Chicago.

Entering students currently receiving mental health treatment

SCS is a good resource for helping students new to the area get established with mental health care providers in Chicago. In the intake appointment the therapist can help the student sort out what services we may be able to offer on a short term basis at SCS. These are covered under the Student Life Fee that all registered students are required to pay. For students already receiving mental health treatment, either counseling or medication, a referral to area mental health providers will most likely be recommended since SCS is an acute care clinic. We can recommend private practitioners as well as hospital and agency based services that will be appropriate for the student. If purchased, the cost of this treatment will be partially covered under the student health insurance through the University of Chicago U-SHIP or it may or may not be covered under a parent’s insurance, if U-SHIP has been waived.

Signs of a potential problem

Often psychological and emotional problems present during the course of college or graduate school. The period of emerging adulthood from 18 to 25 is considered a robust time of psychological growth with numerous developmental challenges. As parents, you may observe behavioral signs or changes that concern you. The following list offers some behavioral signs that may reflect potential problems:

• Aggressive or threatening behavior
• Social withdrawal or other marked change in social habits
• Marked changes in personal hygiene
• Preoccupation with weight, food or exercise
• Dramatic weight loss or gain
• Excessive crying, emotionality or mood changes
• Marked changes in energy level (e.g., listlessness or hyperactivity)
• Noticeable changes potentially associated with drinking or drug use
• Increases in pessimism, hopelessness or helplessness
• Change in academic habits (e.g., a historically hard-working student who seems not to care about academic performance anymore)
• Bizarre behaviors (e.g., paranoia, strange speech patterns)
• References to suicide or death
• Any other behaviors or symptoms which represent a distinct departure from the behavior you have always seen from you daughter or son

What to do when your son or daughter is having difficulty or is in crisis.

As a parent you may be in a good position to help the student acknowledge that there is a problem. Talking promptly, openly and caringly about your observations and concerns will likely have the best result. Here are a few suggestions on how to respond to changes you may observe in your son or daughter.

• Don’t “put off until tomorrow.” Gently raise your concerns with your son or daughter as soon as you notice problems. Ignoring disturbing behavior is unlikely to “make it go away.”
• Have a caring, concerned nonjudgmental discussion of your concerns. Choose a time and place carefully to allow for a private and honest discussion.
• Listen at least as much as you talk.
• Avoid the tendency to be critical or judgmental.
• Avoid the temptation to offer easy solutions to problems or to “take care of everything” for your son or daughter.
• Know your own limits. Do not feel pressured to take on the problems yourself. University staff may be better trained to help students with specific concerns. Being able to refer your daughter or son to University resources is a vital role you can play.

How to refer to SCS

Please encourage your son or daughter to call SCS to schedule an intake appointment. Often students are hesitant to seek out counseling and your encouragement can facilitate them getting the services they need. Let them know that we see a wide range of problems at SCS and no issue is too small or too big for a consultation at SCS.

The Student Counseling Service, located at 5737 South University Avenue, is open Monday through Friday 8:30am to 4:45pm. Our telephone number is 773-702-9800. Students are encouraged to call to schedule an intake appointment. Usually intake appointments can be scheduled within a few days. If the matter is urgent the student can walk in to SCS and ask to speak with the staff member-on-call who will do an initial assessment of the situation. After hours on weekdays and on weekends an SCS staff member-on-call is always available by telephone. Emergency evaluations after hours are only available in the hospital emergency room.

How we can help you as a parent

We are always available for consultations with concerned parents. Our staff member-on-call can discuss your concerns about your daughter or son’s well being and may help to confirm or dispel them. We can help you facilitate a referral to SCS. We are a resource for you as well as for students.

Confidentiality and parent communication with SCS

The Illinois mental health code ensures confidentiality for people seeking mental health services. We are unable, therefore, to give any information about a student, including whether s/he is being seen at SCS, without the student’s written consent. This may feel frustrating to you when you are reaching out in concern for your daughter or son. Asking the student for permission for her/his SCS therapist to speak with you may easily resolve this.